


You’re Not My Savior (something’s wrong inside of me)

by Lunarwolfik



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-30
Updated: 2016-12-30
Packaged: 2018-09-13 09:00:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,873
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9116122
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lunarwolfik/pseuds/Lunarwolfik
Summary: Set during the early traveling days of Vox Machina, Vax and Percy find out they have a little more in common than they thought.  Or, guard duty makes fast friends.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Fourier](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fourier/gifts).



They camp out in a stand of trees, fifty meters from a wide open field, a field with tall tall grass that catches the breeze and sighs in anticipation of an ambush. Vex doesn’t trust it, and Vax can almost see her ears twitch in trepidation when Grog suggests they keep pressing forward. He can feel her fear in his chest, lodged just below his collarbone and thrumming in tune to his heartbeat. He knows her so well, he knows her better than he knows himself, and he can tell when something is Not Right. 

“Sister, what is it?” he asks her, a slight quirk to his brow and worry underlining his tone. 

“It’s nothing, really, it just looks like a place that screams trap is all,” she throws back at him, the smile a little too quick on her lips. 

Vax gives her a discerning look but doesn’t press it, knows when to leave well enough alone (and when to sneak in an interrogation while everyone else is asleep). He’s been trying to learn to accept the whole ‘sometimes other people know best’ thing. Emphasis on the trying. 

“Well, these trees look just as good as any others for a night’s rest,” Percy says, looking up at the swaying pines that have been their guides throughout most of the day. 

He’s in the middle of laying down his pack when Keyleth makes a noise like a startled rabbit. 

“I-I wouldn’t put that there Percy,” she cautions, her tone lilting like a sparrow. It was one of the things Vax liked best about her. 

Percy stops, mid-motion, and gives her an incredulous look. “Why?” he asks, drawing out the syllable. 

“For starters, that tree is about ten minutes from losing one of its limbs. And also there’s bear poop there,” Keyleth replies flatly. 

Vax can’t help but shoot Trinket an accusatory look. Percy joins in on the blame, but calmly walks away from the tree. Vex rolls her eyes. “Trinket would never, he’s much more well trained than that, aren’t you buddy?” She scratches behind the bear’s ears and his lumbering appreciative noises ring out through the forest. 

“Oi, that bear is being awfully loud if we’re still trying to be sneaky!” Scanlan calls out from where he’s laying out his pack, claiming a spot near Pike. 

“This bear is the least of our worries when your singing can be heard for _miles_ ,” Vex snipes back but without any real bite to it. Scanlan stares back at her, and an awkward staring contest commences, the both of them too stubborn to admit defeat. 

Vax shakes his head and walks away from them, looking for an advantageous spot along the perimeter and knowing they’ll be grumbling at each other in a few minutes. It was becoming practically a ritual at this point. They find camp. Scanlan insults Trinket. Vex insults Scanlan. Percy mumbles something about them both being children. And Keyleth begins tree-bonding meditation in order to avoid conflict. 

They had clearly been on the road for far too long. Hell, they hadn’t been in a city since leaving Westrun three weeks back. Hadn’t seen another soul beyond their merry band of adventures for two. 

Clearly figuring out how to actually be a merry band of adventurers was going to take them a little while. At least they had the adventuring part down, and the fighting, and the looting. If Vax were being honest, he didn’t exactly care either way whether or not they got along. It was about scraping by and making a living, it wasn’t about finding “friends”. He had his sister and she was the only one he needed to count on. 

Leaving the rest of the party to their own bickering, Vax begins throwing together his makeshift tent with a vantage point on the wide open field, a sense of unease just barely prickling along the back of his neck. 

***

Three hours, two mugs of ale, and three chickens later he’s feeling quite a bit better about the vast majority of the recent decisions he’s made in his life. The fire crackles a deep red, flames racing along the wood and throwing everyone’s faces into sharp relief. His sister is by his side, animatedly recounting that time they stole a kettle from a fancy Lord only to find out the kettle was a complete fake and that the Lord was poorer than they were, but also happened to be very very good about making deals with nefarious folk. 

Tiberius’ scratchy dragon snores punctuate Vex’s tale, while Pike sits across from them, half dozing into her own mug and leaning against Grog for support, clearly going to fall asleep any second. Scanlan is situated to her other side, casting occasional glances her way with a longing that Vax has a hard time stomaching. It’s hard seeing someone typically so slick and snarky letting himself become so unguarded. Vax looks down into his own mug, tracing one finger along the edge before downing the remnants. 

Percy’s quiet chuckles at Vex’s tale to his other side are oddly reassurance. But the laughter is scattered, distracted, as he starts his nightly ritual of cleaning and repairing his guns. Vax is constantly amazed the damn things haven’t broken permanently yet, with the amount of times he’s heard the tale-tell click of a misfire. Somehow Percy kept them together though. Kept them from blowing up and taking his hand with it. Percy was good about fixing things, and Vax was starting to recognize when that gleam in his eye meant a ‘probably bad, and definitely dangerous’ idea. 

“Shh-shh-shhhhh, wait, listen. Do you hear that?” Keyleth suddenly interrupts Vex, waving her hands dramatically and attempting to lay a hand over Vex’s mouth, but instead she almost hits her in the ear. 

“What is it dear?” Vex asks. 

There’s a long drawn out pause as Keyleth looks around, her eyes far too bright, and Vax is pretty certain she’s drunk as a skunk. He strains his ears, trying to catch anything out of the ordinary, but nope, nothing but the low rumble of the fire. 

“It’s nothing, there’s nothing, the forest is super quiet. And do you know why? Because it knows. It _knows_ who I am. And it _knows_ that I’m not ready to fight. Or-or, okay not fight, exactly. Not ready to get its power-“ Keyleth stands up, a flurry of vines sprouting beneath of her feet. She throws her arms out wide like she’s trying to challenge the empty air to a duel. “You don’t have to rub in my face guys, I get it! I’m an imposter!” She calls out to the night sky, her eyes gleaming with tears and her cheeks red with frustration. 

Vax stands up, unable to stop himself. 

“Kiki, come now. You’re the strongest druid I know,” he says, bringing a hand to rest on her shoulder. She whirls to look at him. 

“I’m the only druid you know.” 

“Hey, that’s not true. Me and Vax met a ton of druids before we found you guys! And you are so way more badass than them!” Vex interrupts before Vax can dig himself further into a hole. She stands up beside him and grabs Keyleth’s hands, giving her a stern look. 

“Really?” Keyleth asks hesitantly, eyes round as saucers. 

“Really really,” Vax says with a swift nod, his sister nodding in unison. Keyleth blushs and Vex gives her one of her best show-stopping smiles. 

“C’mon darling, let’s get you to bed eh?” With that, she puts an arm around Keyleth’s shoulders as Vax steps away to fall back to his spot on the log. Vex gives Keyleth’s shoulders a little squeeze before steering her away from the fire and towards her bedroll. It’s a good thing she wasn’t on watch duty tonight. 

“Well, I guess it was only a matter of time…” Percy says under his breath, looking at the ground, hands still fiddling with his guns. Vax gives him a confused look. 

“She’s been winding herself up about that kid. In all honesty, I’m surprised she didn’t break sooner,” Percy adds matter-of-factly. 

“She knows it was an accident though, that we’ve all seen and done our fair share of bad deeds. She didn’t mean to,” Vax says. 

Percy shrugs. “Good intentions can have terrible consequences,” he throws back, gaze far off and brow furrowed, his fingers tracing the edges of the chamber on his gun. Before Vax can say anything, Percy gives a stiff nod and gets up. “Wake me for third watch, will you?” He throws over his shoulder, walking away. 

Vax huffs in agreement before getting up himself, the brief moment of what he would cautiously call normality broken. He pushes away the harsh memories of his own bad decisions, knowing nothing but madness lies in questioning the past. 

“G’night all,” he says to Grog, Scanlan, and Pike. 

“Are trees _supposed_ to talk back?” He hears Grog ask as he heads for his own pack. He shakes his head to himself, feeling something like unease crawling in the pit of his stomach. Or maybe that was just the ale. 

***

He wakes to Grog’s surprisingly gentle (or at least gentle for Grog) shaking. Cracking an eye open, he sees Grog’s hovering shape blotting out the night sky above, a void of half-goliath make. 

“Yeah, yeah, m’up, m’awake,” he grumbles, batting Grog’s hand away. He gets up into a full-body stretch, feeling his joints creek and protest, the beginnings of a crick in his neck making him wince. 

“No sneaky-crawlies so far, though there’s a real loud squirrel thataway,” Grog says, motioning in the direction of the field before stumbling away to his own bedroll, clearly relieved to be giving up his watch. 

He checks the stars and reasons they’re a handful of hours past midnight, right on schedule. Wandering over to Percy’s sleeping form, he shakes the man’s shoulder. 

“C’mon, wakey-wakey,” he whispers, voice still a little rough from sleep. 

Percy rolls over, grumbling but wakening. Vax heads over to the dilapidated fire, the vain hope of warming his hands guiding his footsteps. He takes his previous spot on one of the surrounding logs, keeping a careful eye on the forest. Nothing moves in the distance beyond the swaying of branches, dark blotches of trees smudging the night sky. 

The fire has burned down to nothing but soft-glowing embers and there’s a brusqueness to the air that hadn’t been there before. Vax adds a small log to the fire. It wasn’t enough to create an open blaze, but was enough to give the embers something to chew on. 

Percy sits down beside him, sleep rumpled and glasses askew. “Thanks for waking me,” he says, voice warmer than the fire, a crooked smile on his lips. 

“It’d be stupid to turn down another pair of eyes, even yours,” Vax replies shortly. He’s still a little uncertain about Percy. The man radiates secrets and cleverness, and if Vax were honest with himself, those qualities hit a little too close to home. He knows his own baggage and the trouble it’s caused, he didn’t want to get caught up in someone else’s. 

Percy offers a small chuckle. “Ah yes well, I’ve been tinkering with some glasses that help with that, but who knew night vision is a lot easier to manufacture through a potion than science.” He shrugs, the movement brushing their shoulders together. 

“Oh, funny man, Scanlan might start to get jealous,” Vax says, not looking at Percy, and instead keeps his eyes on the horizon. Watching for movement in the dim light of the moon. 

“I sincerely doubt that,” Percy says, letting the words fade away. A beat passes before Percy draws in a breath, seemingly to speak, but instead he pauses and runs a hand through his hair, the already tousled tresses now sticking up even more. 

“Do you mind if we-“ and here he makes a vague hand gesture, shifting so that he’s facing Vax’s left, straddling the log and angling his back against Vax’s shoulder for a moment before Vax realizes his intentions. 

Vax lets out a ‘hmm’ of agreement, turning to fully face the expanse of grass and possible death, bringing his feet up to rest beneath folded legs in a criss-cross fashion. It’s easy enough to keep balanced on the log as Percy settles himself, their backs resting against each other. 

“-it just seems more economical this way,” Percy says, finishing the thought if not the actual sentence. 

Vax draws out one of his daggers, casually flipping it in one hand. The firm press of Percy’s back against his own is oddly reassuring. 

A few moments pass in peaceful quiet as Vax continues his watch of the glade. The dagger is cold against his palm, his fingers chilling in the night air. 

“What kind of good intentions?” Vax asks into the still night air, returning the dagger to his belt. 

“What?” Percy questions back, his head cocking to the side. 

“Before, you seemed to insinuate your good intentions had gotten you into trouble now and again. Is that how you wound up in that cell?” 

Percy lets out a breathy chuckle. “Ah, not quite, no. I just meant that as a person of means it’s sometimes difficult to balance the needs of the many with the needs of the few,” Percy replies, his voice tinny and hollow. 

“Come now Percy, you should know better than to lie to me at this point,” Vax says, an edginess to his tone that he can’t help. 

There’s a brief silence, the meadow rustling like reedy flutes. 

“I had a sister once. A few of them actually. And some brothers. I had a whole family, large and boisterous and we were happy, mostly. As happy as moneyed folk can ever really be. And now I don’t. And that’s all you’re going to get from me tonight,” Percy replies, his breathing becoming unsteady, his words more and more distant, sharper, colder. 

Vax turns around, Percy shifting to accommodate and before Vax can stop himself he throws an arm around Percy’s shoulder, tucking the other man into his side, cloak draping around them both. 

“We all have our demons Vax,” Percy says finally, clipped and acerbic, his mouth twisted in self-mockery. There’s a weariness to his features that hadn’t been there before. The lines along his eyes look deeper and his shoulders sag. Vax swears he sees a flicker of inky blackness swirl across the outline of Percy’s form, but when he blinks, it’s gone. 

“I’m sorry Percival,” Vax says, offering the only kind of comfort he knows how, even as he knows words are poor comfort. He takes a breath, eyes scratchy, and feels his own heart ache deep beneath his chest. 

Percy pulls away then, just barely, and looks at Vax’s face fully. For the first time since meeting him in that prison cell, Percy somehow looks vulnerable. His eyes a bit too blue, his smile sad and broken. 

The kiss is unexpected, a haphazard smash of lips against his own as Percy presses into him. He’s warm though, so very warm, and his lips are anything but delicate as his fingers push and pull against Vax’s cloak. 

Percy pulls back, drawing in a breath that shakes him like a leaf. “I’m not a good man,” he finally says, the words barely cresting above a whisper. 

“Neither am I,” Vax throws back, pressing himself against Percy, greedy for the taste of him and the warmth, gods, he was so very cold. 

Vax had almost forgotten what it was like to feel someone else’s skin beneath his fingers. He lets his mouth wander along Percy’s jaw, teeth scrapping against rough stubble. His skin is salty from the day’s walk, with an acrid bitterness that could only be gunpowder. It wasn’t quite unpleasant, but it certainly wasn’t pleasant either. 

They stay like that for a few moments, two shapes huddled in the darkness, nothing tender between them, but something like need etching the outlines of their forms. Their kisses frantic and harried, their touches skipping between harsh and gentle, nothing sharp enough to bruise but more than enough to feel again. 

***

Vax blinks and suddenly he’s awake, gazing upwards into a leafy canopy speckled with the reddish-orange glow of a dawn sky. He blinks again, lifts his head, which had apparently been resting against Percival’s own. Shaking himself a little before leaning forward, he feels Percy’s weight heavy against his side. 

“Hey, hey you,” he says, angling his head towards the top of Percy’s head, the stark white hair brushing against Vax’s cheek with each word. 

“Oh, c’mon brother, I almost had the sketch done,” Vex’s fair too chipper voice calls out. Vax turns, now dislodging Percy from his slump. He sees Vex standing a few feet away, eyes sparkling, a piece of parchment and quill in her hands. 

“Vex’ahlia you will give that to me this instant,” Vax says, standing up in a flash. 

“Have to catch me first,” she says with a chuckle before running off through their camp, already full of hustle and bustle. 

Vax rolls his eyes before chasing after her, leaving a grumbling sleep-addled Percy behind.


End file.
